Wherever You Are
by NostalgicSchemer
Summary: "Make a wish, Peter," Tino murmured as he sat up, letting Peter nestle in close. "I wish for Papa to come home!" Peter said earnestly. Tino felt tears prickle his eyes and he hastily wiped them away, hugging the smaller blond close. "So do I, Peter," Tino murmured. Part of the "Passion" Series


_Come out moon  
Come out wishing star  
Come out  
Come out  
Wherever you are_

A quiet sigh left Tino's lips as he watched the stars twinkle seemingly endlessly in the dark. He had a faraway look in his eyes, his chin resting in his hand. He was seated in the large window seat that Berwald had put in for him at the beginning of their relationship. He smiled fondly as he remembered what lead up to it being built.

"_T'no?" Berwald asked quietly, poking his head through the doorway. Tino was standing at the large window, looking up at the sky in awe. Shooting stars were filling the dark blue canvas, and the smaller blond was watching them with the same fascination as a small child. His hands were clasped in front of him, and he seemed in deep concentration._

_The Swede smiled slightly as he, as silently as he could, came up behind him, leaning down slightly to set his chin on Tino's head, his hands resting on the Finn's hips, making him jump. "Berwald?" Tino asked, as if thinking it were someone else. The grip on his hips tightened slightly and Tino automatically relaxed, leaning into the man behind him. The larger man still scared him sometimes, but he was looking past it._

"_Wh't are y' d'ing?" Berwald whispered, looking through the window towards the mass of minute-lights that twinkled here and there._

"_Making a wish," Tino said with a childish smile that reflected into the glass and made Berwald smile more. "Haven't you ever done that?"_

Berwald shook his head. "N'ver had time..." he answered, though he found his mind making a small, simple one at the next star.

"_I wish there was a seat here so we could both sit here and watch the stars all the time," Tino said, blushing slightly. Berwald's arms finally encircled him fully, keeping him warm and safe._

"_C'me to bed, T'no," Berwald murmured when the Finn yawned. Tino nodded, though he stood there for a moment more before allowing the Swede to pull him to the large bed._

_The next day was hectic. Snow had fallen, and Tino didn't much like it when it turned to slush on the road, so the weekly trip to town took much longer than he would've liked. When he came home, tired from the stressed driving, it was to Berwald washing some wood shavings from his hands. Tino blinked, looking around the kitchen for any new furniture. _

"_Bedroom," Berwald said, glancing over his shoulders. Tino hesitantly set the groceries down before heading up to their room. His hands shot to his mouth, completely shocked. In front of the window, hand-built with care and skill, was a special seat. It was fitted with a cushion, had two pillows, and a blanket neatly folded on it. Tino couldn't believe his eyes, it was just as he had imagined it would look. _

_Stepping closer to it, he ran his fingers over the cushion, feeling tears in his eyes._

"If y' d'n't like it, I c'n make 'nother," Berwald said from the doorway. He was pleasantly surprised to have an armful of Tino.

"_N-no, it's perfect. Thank you, Berwald,"  
_

"Mama?" Tino turned away from the window—and his memories—looking towards the door. Peter stood there, rubbing one eye sleepily and holding Hanatamago in his other arm, the puppy whining softly. Tino smiled softly at them.

"Did you have a bad dream, Peter?" Tino asked softly, holding his arms open for the boy to come closer and into his embrace when the eight-year-old was close enough, Hana squirming to let go. Peter did so, and watched as she curled up beside Tino, asleep in seconds.

"Mama?" Peter asked again, resting his head on Tino's shoulder, his blue eyes—much like Berwald's without the blankness—slowly drifting closed.

"Hm?" Tino asked back, wrapping Peter in the blanket with him, his cheek resting on the top of the boy's head.

"When's Papa coming home?" Peter asked.

Tino sighed softly, kissing the top of Peter's head as the boy slipped off to sleep without an answer. "Soon, I hope," he whispered, sending a silent wish to the heavens.__

I'm out here in the dark  
All alone and wide awake  
Come and find me.

Berwald looked up at the clear night sky, his rifle leaning against his shoulder as he stood on watch. He couldn't help but feel comforted, knowing that Tino would most likely be watching the stars tonight, though it really wasn't enough. "T'no..." he murmured to himself, fingering the platinum band on his hand. Getting a tap on the shoulder, he looked up, nodding as he was relieved to go and get some sleep.

He didn't bother changing clothes, simply shirked the jacket off and lay on his cot, the sight of the sky blocked by the dark interior of the tent. He shifted, pulling a small picture from under his pants pocket, laminated to protect it more, and traced the smile on Tino's face in it. He was sure Tino hadn't known he had taken the picture, either.

"_Mama, look!" Peter called, just barely seven. Tino looked over, smiling at the sight of his husband and son coming home from town, however his smile turned confused when he saw the box in Berwald's hands._

"What have you got?" Tino asked, coming closer. Peter giggled as he was let down, jumping around from one foot to another, like he needed to pee. Tino chuckled softly at his son's enthusiasm, accepting the box carefully. He heard something ruffling around inside and knelt down to take the lid off of the box, a surprised laugh coming from the Finn when a small white puppy jumped up, beginning to lick Tino's face. Peter had knelt down as well and was grinning. It was then Berwald had snapped the picture with his phone to take it in and get it printed later.

However, the news that night that Berwald was leaving in a week had ruined the romantic dinner that the Swede had made, and the angered Finn had locked himself in their room for the night, and Berwald could still hear the sobs through the door.

_I'm empty and I'm cold  
And my heart's about to break  
Come and find me.  
_

Tino sighed when the morning came, his back and neck aching, but the sight of Peter asleep in his arms was worth it. Kissing his son's forehead again, he looked up at the shining sun, but couldn't feel the full warmth. It was as if a part of him was missing, gone from him, and everything in the world felt out of shape.

Hearing the phone ring, Tino cursed. "_Perkele!_" he muttered, carefully getting up and letting Peter curl in the warm spot he had left on the window seat. Picking up the phone, he held back his exasperation. "Hello?"

"_Tino! Thank the Powers That Be that you answered! I tried to call everyone else I could think of, but they hung up!" _Oh, it was Alfred. Interesting.

"What's wrong, Alfred?" Tino asked quietly, looking over his shoulder to Peter, who was beginning to wake up, but didn't want to get up.

_"Mattie's in labor and Yao wouldn't answer the phone, and Elizabeta's too busy stalking Roderich and Gilbert and making cooing faces at Gilbert's belly, Natasha scares the FUCK out of me, and Artie's being really not helpful."_

Tino sighed. "I'll be there in a moment, Alfred. Just let me get Peter into the car."

_"Thanks man! I'd totally ask you to marry me if I weren't engaged!" Alfred joked._

Tino chuckled softly, saying goodbye before hanging up and going to get his son and puppy into the car, not much caring about breakfast. He was sure Francis would cook something for Peter, no doubt.

The drive didn't take long, and Peter was fully awake, chattering about how he was going to be the most awesome cousin to the young baby, by the time that they pulled up. Peter hop-skipped out of the car with Hana in his arms, greeting a worried Francis at the door.

"Thank you for coming, _Mon Ami._" Francis said, looking ragged, and he winced when he heard the French leaving Matthew's lips upstairs. Tino smiled reassuringly.

"If you think he's bad, I threatened to castrate Berwald when I was having Peter," Tino said, watching as Peter headed to the kitchen to find something to snack on, with Arthur's supervision of course.

"He's done that," Francis said with a sigh.

Tino smiled brightly. "With a paperclip?" he asked as he headed upstairs, leaving Francis to think about it, then pale.

The birth didn't take much longer with someone who had gone through it coaching the soon-to-be "mother". Matthew was soon holding the baby girl in his arms, looking exhausted. Alfred looked pale, rubbing his abdomen, as if wondering if it would be worth all that to go through it himself, though the look on his twin's face said, yes, it clearly was.

Tino smiled, thanking Francis for looking after Peter before ushering his son back into the car after he had gotten a chance to hold the little girl.

When he got home, he fixed a dinner for Peter before going to his room to curl up on the window seat for a nap. He couldn't sleep in the bed by himself, it just felt too big, too empty, without two strong arms wrapped around him.

_I need you to come here and find me  
Cause without you I'm totally lost_

Berwald sighed softly, looking up at the sky as the sun began to set. "T'no would l've th's sight," he said to himself, wondering if the sunset looked the same back home. _'Home.. I'll be home soon, Tino, I promise,'_ he thought, fingering his ring again.

"Oxenstierna?" An officer asked. Berwald was quick to his feet, standing straight in front of the man. "At ease. I've come to tell you that you're going home." At Berwald's confused look, the officer offered a smile. "You've earned it, son. Go get ready,"

Berwald's heart hammered, excitement showing in his eyes. He really was going home!

_I've hung a wish on every star  
It hasn't done much good so far  
I can only dream of you  
Wherever you are..._

"Mama, wake up! Look!" Peter said excitedly as he pointed to the sky out the window. Tino groaned but slowly opened his eyes, a soft smile on his face as he watched the shooting stars.

"Make a wish, Peter," Tino murmured as he sat up, letting Peter nestle in close.

"I wish for Papa to come home!" Peter said earnestly. Tino felt tears prickle his eyes and he hastily wiped them away, hugging the smaller blond close.

"So do I, Peter," Tino murmured before he got Peter washed up and tucked away into bed. After that was done, he took his own shower and curled up in the window seat, unaware of where his dreams would take him.__

I'll hear you laugh  
I'll see you smile  
I'll be with you just for a while 

_Tino smiled sleepily as he watched his husband swaying in the kitchen, holding a six-month old Peter and a bottle, his large frame seeming to dwarf the baby even more. However, Peter already adored his stern-eyed father, looking up with wide blue eyes as he suckled at the bottle nipple between his lips, his little hands reached up to grip Berwald's hand. There was a soft expression on Berwald's face, even a smile there that didn't make him look scary._

_Tino couldn't stop the giggle that tumbled from his lips as he watched Peter make a face before spitting up. Coming in quickly, he got a damp cloth, cleaning Peter and Berwald up, only to look up into those blue eyes that held so much love for him, making the Finn blush. "I love you." The smaller man said, kissing Berwald's cheek when he bent down._

Berwald chuckled softly, returning the soft kiss. "I l've y' too, T'no." he answered.

Tino's mind skipped ahead a month, to Berwald's first Father's Day.

_Tino smiled to himself as he held Peter in his arms, swaying slightly as the boy dozed in his mother's arms. Tino carefully cleaned off the baby's hand and foot, though forgot that the paint was still open, and on the floor next to the card that he had spent the past three days making. _

_Slipping on a spot of paint on the linoleum floor, he yelped, holding Peter close as he landed on the floor. He hissed, rubbing his tailbone with one hand before he moved to get up._

Berwald walked in just as the little different colored paint on the table fell from the not-so-sturdy table and onto Tino's head and, thus, Peter's. Peter was gurgling, waving his little hands around. He loved getting messy! Tino, on the other hand, was staring down at the partially ruined card, not noticing his husband in the doorway.

Tino jumped when Berwald knelt down beside him, taking the card off of the floor and setting it on the table to let it dry, his eyes twinkling. "It's beautiful, T'no," the Swede said reassuringly, sweeping a paint-covered Tino close for a kiss.

_But when the morning comes  
And the sun begins to rise  
I will lose you_

Tino's eyes slowly opened and he sighed softly. Well, it was a nice rest at least, lots of happy memories. He smiled to himself, brushing his finger across the ring around his finger before kissing it lightly. Heading for a quick bathroom trip, he then headed down to the kitchen to make some coffee. Peter would still be asleep, and that was fine. It was a weekend._  
_

Hearing a knock at the door, he tilted his head and headed to answer it. It could've been a letter from Berwald. He smiled at the thought, though the smile fell when he saw two officers standing in front of him. "Good morning..." Tino murmured, his heart in his throat.

"Good morning, Mrs. Oxensteirna... We're sorry to tell you this news, being a nation and the like, but we're here to regrettably tell you that the plane carrying your husband was shot down last night," One officer said, and Tino felt his blood run cold. "There's no sign of his body, but we're assuming the worst, and it's being filed as a MIA."

Tino nodded, swallowing and blinking past the tears in his eyes. Politely, he offered them coffee, which they turned down and headed back to their car to drive away. Tino quietly shut the door, pressing his back to it before slipping down to sit on the floor.

"Mama?" Peter asked sleepily, coming close. Tino choked on a sob, drawing his son close, clinging to him. Peter was confused, but let him, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Mama, what's wrong?"

Tino swallowed again and pulled back, brushing his tears away, then Peter's hair from his face. "Papa... Papa may not come back, Peter..." he said. Peter's eyes widened.

"But he's gotta, Mama! He promised he would!" Peter said, his frame shaking. Tino pulled him close again, holding back his own sobs.

_Because it's just a dream  
When I open up my eyes  
I will lose you  
_

That day was spent with Tino coddling his son, curled up in the window seat with him, reading to him, telling him stories and answering whatever questions he could. Hana whined from her spot in Tino's lap, trying to help her owner. Each night, Tino dreamed. He dreamed that it was all a lie, that Berwald would walk through the front door, and he'd wake up each day with a wet pillow.

_I use to believe in forever  
But forever is to good to be true  
I've hung a wish on every star  
It hasn't done much good so far  
_

Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months. Peter eventually stopped bringing up Papa, not wanting to see the sad look in his Mama's eyes. He tried to draw lots of pictures, tell Tino all about his day at school, and Tino would listen, ooh and ahh over each picture, hanging it on the fridge, but the majority of the light had gone from his eyes.

And still each night, Tino would curl up in that window seat, looking up at the stars for some kind of answer or confirmation or sign, anything! Anything to tell him to give up hope that Berwald wasn't coming home, anything to say that the officers were lying, and Berwald was fine.

A year passed and Tino heaved shuddery breaths as he realized what kind of time had passed. He closed his eyes, gripping the sides of the sink tightly.

"_Hey, Berwald?" Tino asked, looking down at his lover—husband, his mind corrected—smiling and running his fingers through the man's hair as Berwald laid with his head on Tino's chest, arms encircled around him protectively. Tino giggled when Berwald tickled his chest with his breath._

"_Hm?" Berwald grunted sleepily, one hand moving from around Tino's waist to brush against his abdomen._

"_How long do you think we'll be together?" The Finn asked. He couldn't help it, asking it. As nations, it was hard to determine relationship lengths._

"_Forever," Berwald stated simply, so absolutely, that there was no room for argument. Tino never again questioned it._

Tino opened his eyes, choking on a sob, his hands moving to rake through his hair. When he managed to calm down, he took out a small bottle of anti-depressants and popped the correct dose into his mouth, swallowing without water before he headed out to get his son ready for school.

_I don't know what else to do  
Except to try to dream of you,  
And wonder if you are dreaming too  
Wherever you are..._

"Mama?" Peter asked as he was buckled into the car, clutching his backpack close to him. Tino smiled reassuringly at him, prompting him to go on. "Do you think Papa's happy where he is? Or that he misses us like we miss him?" Peter asked.

Tino froze, looking at his son's face, so hopeful for an answer. Tino managed a watery smile, kissing Peter's forehead. "Of course he misses us, Peter," Tino said softly. "Probably more than we miss him, but you know him, he wouldn't admit it,"

Peter nodded, seeming satisfied as he gave Tino a hug. "Sorry for making you cry, Mama," he said quietly.

Tino shook his head, smiling more. "It's alright, Peter..." he said, getting into the car and heading to school to drop him off. He waved several times before looking up at the sky. "I wish you were coming home, Berwald." he whispered. Starting the car again, he headed home.  
_  
Wherever you are _

_OMAKE 1_

Alfred smiled to himself, nearly overwhelmed with happiness. "Artie!" he called as he waltzed into their home, slamming the door behind him.

The sound of dishes clanging together make Alfred grin more as he poked his head in. "Artie, I got a surprise for you!"

Arthur stood at the stove, sucking on a burnt fingertip. He glowered over at his lover, though there wasn't any venom in the look. Damnit, right over the other little scars too! "What is it, git?"

Alfred mock-pouted. "I don't think I should tell you now," he said, crossing his arms over his chest, though he was already vibrating from the effort to keep it in. "ARTIE!"

Arthur winced. "What, you buffoon?!" he shouted, yelping as he was all but tackled to the floor. Well, at least he hadn't touched the stove again. It was probably cursed. Damned Russian..

"Arthur Kirkland," Alfred said, grinning widely down at his lover. He dug into his pocket, pulling out a picture of a... Was that a gray blueberry? "Do you know what this is?"

"A... Blueberry?" Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow. Alfred whined.

"No! It's Amelia Elizabeth Kirkland!" Alfred stated firmly. Arthur's eyes widened and he quickly flipped the man over, kissing him deeply, only drawing away when the smoke detector went off.

OMAKE 2

Tino sighed softly, watching Peter play from the window. He smiled, despite himself. He couldn't help it, seeing his son so happy and care-free. "I still wish you were here, Berwald. I know Peter wants to ask me so many things about you, but he's scared he'll hurt me,"

"'m sorry, T'no," Tino swallowed. No.. He knew he had a few hallucinations here and there, but never any of them with sound. Was he finally going crazy? "T'no, turn 'round,"

Tino hesitated before he slowly did, his hands flying to his mouth. Berwald stood in the doorway, a little thinner than Tino remembered, dirty, unshaven, but his eyes twinkled. "Berwald..." Tino said, unaware his feet were taking him to the man. Within seconds, he had launched himself at the man and was holding him tight, scolding him, thanking him, kissing him...

"Mama?" Peter asked, coming in the back door. Tino pulled away slightly, wiping his tears.

"In here, Peter," Tino called. Peter entered, frozen before he, too, launched himself at Berwald, who chuckled and held them both tight.

"Mama! My wish came true!" Peter said excitedly, hugging Berwald around the neck.

Later that night, after Peter was put to bed, and Berwald had showered and shaved, and was looking more himself, he pulled Tino into bed with him, lips brushing lips, fingers exploring, reaffirming, worshipping.

When they had tired themselves out, Berwald lay with his head on Tino's chest, his arms wrapped tightly around the man, while Tino ran his fingers through Berwald's hair. He'd cut it tomorrow. "T'no?" Berwald murmured. At the hum that affirmed Tino was awake, Berwald kissed Tino's chest, just over his heart. "M' wish c'me true t'." he whispered.

Tino felt more tears fill his eyes, though he tried in vain to hold them back. "Mine too, Berwald. I love you,"

"L've y' t', T'no," Berwald murmured quietly, slowly drifting off to sleep.

Tino looked out the window towards the sky, finally feeling at home, safe, in his bed with his husband, and smiled at the stars that twinkled. "Thank you," he whispered before he, too, fell asleep.

He didn't notice the stars twinkling brighter.


End file.
